I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
