she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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