fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
