So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
