I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
