I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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