just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
