my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
