The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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