I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just invented taco cereal.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
