i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
