you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He has the fingertips of a God
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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