My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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