i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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