ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
