You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
