i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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