you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
