Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
