p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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