I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
