I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
