I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
