i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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