I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
