im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
