we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
