Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
