I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
