Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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