I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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