Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
