4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
