Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
