if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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