i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
