Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize