if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
