I understand Curling. That high.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
