I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My breath smells like gin and sadness
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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