Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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