He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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