Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
