I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
