My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
