How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
