he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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