The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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