my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
