honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
