he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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