I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
