i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm always down for nudity.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
