i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The struggles of a small town man whore
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
